TED演講：請別忘記感謝身邊的人(2)
TED演講：請別忘記感謝身邊的人
因此我的問題是，為什么我們不索求我們需要的東西呢? 我認識一個結(jié)婚25年的男士 渴望聽到他妻子說， “感謝你為這個家在外賺錢，這樣我才能在家陪伴著孩子，” 但他從來不去問。 我認識一個精于此道的女士。 每周一次，她見到丈夫后會說， “我真的希望你為我對這個家和孩子們付出的努力而感謝我。” 他會應(yīng)和到“哦，真是太棒了，真是太棒了。” 贊揚別人一定要真誠， 但她對贊美承擔(dān)了責(zé)任。 一個從我上幼兒園就一直是朋友的叫April的人， 她會感謝她的孩子們做了家務(wù)。 她說：“為什么我不表示感謝呢，即使他們本來就要做那些事情?”
So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other people blocking it? Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare, I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise me this way?" And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. I'm telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need your help. And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need.
因此我的問題是，為什么我不說呢? 為什么其它人不說呢? 為什么我能說：“我要一塊中等厚度的牛排， 我需要6號尺寸的鞋子，” 但我卻不能說：“你可以贊揚我嗎?” 因為這會使我把我的重要信息與你分享。 會讓我告訴了你我內(nèi)心的不安。 會讓你認為我需要你的幫助。 雖然你是我最貼心的人， 我卻把你當作是敵人。 你會用我托付給你的重要信息做些什么呢? 你可以忽視我。 你可以濫用它。 或者你可以滿足我的要求。
And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so much better." I get the same bike back, and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new. So, I'm going to challenge all of you. I want you to true your wheels: be honest about the praise that you need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife -- go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband -- what does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.
我把我的自行車拿到車行--我喜歡這么做-- 同樣的自行車，他們會對車輪做整形。 那里的人說：“當你對車輪做整形時， 它會使自行車變成更好。” 我把這輛自行車拿回來， 他們把有小小彎曲的鐵絲從輪子上拿走 這輛車我用了2年半，現(xiàn)在還像新的一樣。 所以我要問在場的所有人， 我希望你們把你們的車輪整形一下： 真誠面對對你們想聽到的贊美。 你們想聽到什么呢? 回家問問你們的妻子，她想聽到什么? 回家問問你們的丈夫，他想聽到什么? 回家問問這些問題，并幫助身邊的人實現(xiàn)它們。
And it's simple. And why should we care about this? We talk about world peace. How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages? I think it starts household by household, under the same roof. So, let's make it right in our own backyard. And I want to thank all of you in the audience for being great husbands, great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. And maybe somebody's never said that to you, but you've done a really, really good job. And thank you for being here, just showing up and changing the world with your ideas.
非常簡單。 為什么要關(guān)心這個呢? 我們談?wù)撌澜绾推健?我們怎么用不同的文化，不同的語言來保持世界和平? 我想要從每個小家庭開始。 所以讓我們在家里就把這件事情做好。 我想要感謝所有在這里的人們 因為你們是好丈夫，好母親， 好伙伴，好女兒和好兒子。 或許有些人從沒跟你們說過 但你們已經(jīng)做得非常非常得出色了。 感謝你們來到這里， 向世界顯示著你們的智慧，并用它們改變著世界。