初中英語幽默小短文閱讀
幽默是心靈的微笑。最深刻的幽默是一顆受了致命傷的心靈發(fā)出的微笑。幽默是心靈的微笑。最深刻的幽默是一顆受了致命傷的心靈發(fā)出的微笑。本文是初中英語幽默小短文，希望對大家有幫助!
初中英語幽默小短文：財政學的一課
Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. The first bidder was a Polish company,and their representative offered to do the job for 0,000.
史密斯是一家建設(shè)公司的經(jīng)理，他正負責一個新工程的招標案。第一位投標的是一家波蘭公司，他們的代表出價四十萬元接那個案子。
"That seems reasonable," said Smith." Can you give me a breakdown on that?"
“似乎很合理，”史密斯說?！澳憧刹豢梢越o我一張明細表呢?”
"Sure," said the Pole," 0,000 for labor and 0,000 for materials."
“當然沒問題，”波蘭公司代表說道，“廿萬元工資，廿萬元材料費?！?/p>
Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid 0,000.
下一個出標的是美國標準建設(shè)公司，他們以八十萬元競標。
"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith." What's the breakdown?
“嗯，這個價錢似乎有些偏高，”史密斯說道?！澳銈冇忻骷毐韱?”
"0,000 on materials, 0,000 on labor."
“四十萬元材料，四十萬元工資。”
"I'll get back to you."
“我以后再同你聯(lián)系。”
Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith’s office.
最后可翰·高斯坦·雷伯威茲公司的代表走進史密斯辦公室?！耙话儇トf元是我們競標的價碼，”代表說道。
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初中英語幽默小短文閱讀
初中英語幽默小短文閱讀
“一百廿萬元這個標高得太過分了，”史密斯叫道：“你可以給我一張明細表嗎?”
"No problem," replied the rep." 0,000 for me, 0,000 for you and 0,000 for the Polacks.
“沒有問題，”代表回答道?！八氖f元給我，四十萬給你，最后四十萬元則給那家波蘭佬開的公司。”
初中英語幽默小短文：黑人英語
the black couple already had eight children,and lula may was pregnant with her ninth. finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
一對黑人夫婦已有八個小孩，而魯拉·梅又懷了第九個小孩，最后她說服了她先生去做男性絕育手術(shù)。
on the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband putting on a tuxedo and getting into a limousine for the short ride to the hospital.
手術(shù)的早晨，她驚訝地看見她老公穿著禮服，乘坐一輛禮車到不遠的醫(yī)院去。
"say, honey, what's all this about?"asked lula may.
“親愛的，這是怎么一回事啊?”魯拉·梅問道。
"baby, if you gonna be impo'tant, you gotta look impotant.
“寶貝，如果你想當名大人物的話，就要讓人一看就知道你很重要!”
初中英語幽默小短文：向你的煩惱說再見!
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位猶太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列隊進入天國之門。
Said the Jew to St.Peter, "Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me."
那位猶太人對圣彼得說：“坦白講，能到這里讓我蠻驚訝的，我一輩子一直都受到__的輕視和侮辱?！?/p>
"That's a great sorrow to us, "said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal. Just spell God and you may enter."
“我們實在感到非常遺憾，”圣彼得說，“但我們這里沒有那樣的偏見,這里每個人都完全平等，只要拼出God這個詞你就能進入天堂?！?/p>
The Jew duly spelled out G-O-D and was waved through the gates.
那猶太人正確地拼出God后，被招入門內(nèi)。
Next,the Indian came forward and said, "St. Peter, all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination, and could only live in a reservation. Will I truly be free here?"
接著印第安人走向前道：“圣彼得，我一輩子飽受貧窮和種族歧視的打擊,而且只能住在居留地內(nèi),我在這里能得到真正的自由嗎?”
"My son, your troubles are over.J ust spell the work God and you will be free as a bird."
“小兄弟，你的煩惱已經(jīng)結(jié)束了，只要拼出God這個詞,你就能像小鳥一樣自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照著做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward. "St. Peter, "he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly. That won't happen here,will it?"
接著那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他說道，“一輩子人們都瞧不起我，不公平對待我，我這里那些事不會發(fā)生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here. Just spell ”onomatopoeia“ and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours!"
“當然不會，我的弟兄，我們不會做那樣的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia這個詞，天堂之國就是你的了!”
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