雙語閱讀：男人不該結婚的十大理由

　　摘要：你該結婚嗎?你是男人嗎?先回答第二個問題。如果第二個答案是"yes"的話，那么第一個答案明顯是"No"。 實際上，婚姻遠非人們所想。過去幾十年，結婚這種神圣而古老的婚戀習俗已逐漸退化為一場噩夢，純粹勞力傷財，尤其是對男性來講。

　　Should you ever get married? Are you a man?Answer the second question first. If the answer tothe second question is "Yes", then the obviousanswer to the first question is, "NO!" The fact is,marriage has never been all that it's cracked up tobe. And in the past few decades, this venerable oldinstitution has actually degenerated even furtherinto an absolute soul and wallet draining wakingnightmare, especially for the male of the species.

　　There used to be a great many practical and logistical reasons why marriage was an idealarrangement (albeit, from vastly different points of view) for both men and women. However,in the 21st century, the majority of those reasons have passed into the murky mists ofhistory. Today, it simply makes more sense not to get married. It's one thing to fall in love,another to surrender your emotional and economic freedom.

　　你該結婚嗎?你是男人嗎?先回答第二個問題。如果第二個答案是"yes"的話，那么第一個答案明顯是"No"。 實際上，婚姻遠非人們所想。過去幾十年，結婚這種神圣而古老的婚戀習俗已逐漸退化為一場噩夢，純粹勞力傷財，尤其是對男性來講。

　　曾經，許多現實原因表明婚姻對男女來說都是最理想的安排(盡管從不同方面來講)。然而，在21世紀，大多數這些原因已經消失在歷史的迷霧中。如今，不結婚更合乎情理。畢竟，相愛是一回事， 放棄情感及經濟自由又是另一回事。

　　10.She's Going To Gain Weight, No Matter What (So Are You, By The Way)

　　10.不管怎樣，她會增重(隨便提一下，你也會)

　　If she gets pregnant, she's obviously going to gain weight (Score one for all you CaptainObvious fans). But, even if you remain childless, the both of you are going to gain weight. Infact, in many ways, the first five years of a marriage are a slow but steady race to see who canlet themselves go the farthest, for the longest amount of time, with the fewest possiblerepercussions.

　　如果她懷孕，那她肯定會增重(這顯而易見)。但即使不要孩子，你倆也會增重。實際上，在很多方面，結婚頭五年像一場緩慢持久的比賽，看誰走得更遠，堅持最久，受影響最小。

　　According to a recent study conducted by the University of Queensland in Australia, women wholive with a partner (in this case, let's go ahead and read husband) tend to gain more weightthan women who live completely alone. Is it hard to understand why this should be?

　　據澳大利亞昆士蘭大學的一項最新研究表明，與伴侶同住的女性(這種情況，我們可進一步稱之為丈夫)比獨居的女性更易增重。很難理解為什么是這樣嗎?

　　No, it really isn't. The fact is, women who are in a secure, exclusive, and committedrelationship, particularly one that has been formalized with a legal ceremony and a weddingring, feel no twinge of guilt whatsoever in gradually letting of the svelte little bod they had onoffer back in your courtin' days. And, honestly, are they wrong? Is a gain of ten pounds goingto nullify your wedding vows? Do you have a leg to stand on in court over this trifling matter?

　　不，不難理解。實際上，處于安全、專一、忠誠的男女關系中的女性，尤其是舉行過婚禮、佩戴婚戒的已婚女士，完全不會為失去熱戀期間小巧、曼妙的身姿而痛心、愧疚。但實話說，她們(這樣)有錯嗎?增重十磅違背結婚誓言了嗎?你會為這區區小事而對簿公堂嗎?

　　Of course, the female side is taking the brunt of the argument in this particular scenarioprecisely because this article is being written from the male point of view. Trust us, tough guy,women notice when you pack on the pounds as well.

　　當然，這篇文章從男性角度來講，女性無疑是爭論焦點。相信我，型男，你增重時，女士也會格外注意。

　　9.Marriage Shuts Down All Other Possible Options, Permanently

　　9.婚姻永久斬斷一切其他可能

　　Not sure what you're getting into? Don't know how you really feel about not having the luxuryof keeping all your other options open? Not keen on consigning your "Little Black Book" to theflames? In short, are you getting more than just the normally described case of cold feet overyou impending nuptials?

　　不確定你會面對什么?不知道放棄其他一切可能感覺如何?不想把"愛情黑名單"付之一炬?簡言之，你比普通所說的婚前恐懼感受更深嗎?

　　If this is the case, it's more than an ominous sign for the future of your marriage. We'd say it'smore in the line of a direct express telegram from the Bachelor Deity, warning you to shake offthe chains before they bind you fast in the fetters of unsuitable monogamy.

　　假如真是如此，那么這遠不止是你婚姻生活的不祥之兆。在神學士的自白表達中更為多見，警告你趕緊松手，以免陷入婚姻的枷鎖，被一夫一妻制所轄制。

　　Marriage means an end to all the casual dates (and the casual sex). Marriage means that youwake up with the same person, morning after morning, after love making, after arguing, aftermany nights of sheer, soul lacerating boredom. Marriage demands the state of monogamy,which, from a male point of view, may as well be more accurately labeled, "monotony". It's theend of your freedom and all of your options.

　　婚姻意味著所有臨時約會(和隨意性交)的終結。結婚意味著你在隨后無數個早晨都將和同一個女人一起醒來，不管你們昨晚是做愛，吵架還是無聊至極。婚姻需要"一夫一妻"，從男性角度講，"單調乏味"也許更為貼切。婚姻是你自由和所有選擇的終點。

　　To put it bluntly, when you enter into the bonds of marriage, you're stuck with each other, untildeath do you part. There's a reason that these phrases sound so ominous and so final –they're designed to be. Of course, nowadays the radical cure of divorce is far more easilyavailable than it used to be. But if you're already reassuring yourself with such thoughts thisearly in the game, it's just another little hint that you really aren't ready for the bigcommitment.

　　說穿了，步入婚姻，夫妻雙方彼此束縛，只有死亡才可分離。這話聽起來很不妙也很絕對—因為它們注定如此。當然，如今離婚處理起來比以往容易得多。但還未結婚你就用這樣的想法給自己打氣，這只能說你還沒為婚姻做好充分準備。

　　8.Getting Shacked Up Will Empty Your Wallet For Years To Come

　　8.就同居這事兒，就能讓你窮上好幾年

　　The average total cost of a wedding in the United States is currently in excess of ,000.

　　現如今，在美國，平均的婚禮開支已經超過了三萬美元。

　　According to a recent survey published by CNN on their official website, the total costs of theaverage American wedding break down as follows:

　　CNN在其官方網站上進行了一項調查發現，美國人的婚禮開支由以下幾個部分構成：

　　,000 to rent the venue where the event will be held.

　　婚禮場地租金：14000美元

　　,800 to buy the ring.

　　婚戒：5800美元

　　,500 to hire the band.

　　樂隊：3500美元

　　 catering costs per invitee.

　　酒席：68美元/人

　　9 per printed wedding invitation.

　　請帖：439美元/版

　　5 per set of miscellaneous party favors.

　　特色婚禮小禮品：275美元/套

　　An average of 43 percent of the total cost of the wedding will be paid for by the parents of thebride, which leaves someone else – namely, you – on the hook for the remaining 57 percent.Greater minds than yours have furrowed their brows in despair at the escalating costs and thelong years of their lives about to spent in making payments on a plan. While many havesurvived this ultimate ordeal, there are plenty more who wonder what demon whispered intheir ear to make them sign on the dotted line and wreck their lives.

　　一般來說，新娘的父母會支付43%的婚禮開支，這就意味著，剩下的57%由你解決。比你更聰明的人也難免因開支增長或多年縮衣節食度日而失望、頭大。盡管很多人把這些都挺過去了，但是更多人還是想知道他們是怎么鬼使神差地在結婚文件上簽了字，以致摧毀了自己的后半生。

　　It's easy to see why many young people of marriageable age choose not to tie the knot. Itsimply costs too much! Being tied to a payment plan is no one's idea of a good start to anyrelationship, particularly one that is scheduled to last for the rest of your natural lives. In fact,there's only one thing that costs more than marriage: Divorce.

　　很多適婚年輕男女選擇不結婚其實很好理解，只因婚姻實在成本過高!想到要縮衣節食、量米度日，誰還有心思開展人際交往，更不用說要共度余生了!實際上，世上僅有一件事比結婚成本更高—那就是離婚!

　　7.Marriage Is Essentially Nothing More Than A Blizzard Of Paperwork