簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話一分鐘

時(shí)間：2016-09-14 11:51:47 韋彥867由分享

　　近幾年,受到國(guó)內(nèi)外文學(xué)“突圍”的啟示,以及文化和諧與民族交流的內(nèi)在需要,笑話民族文學(xué)研究已漸入主流。下面小編整理了簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話一分鐘，希望大家喜歡!

　　簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話一分鐘品析

　　牛人不寫作業(yè)的十大爆笑理由

　　最高科技的理由

　　I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.

　　我用的是太陽(yáng)能計(jì)算器，而當(dāng)時(shí)是陰天。

　　(后面的意思，你懂的~~)

　　最“權(quán)威”的理由

　　The District Court of Appeals recently ruled that homework is officially cruel and unusualpunishment.

　　地方法院最近裁定家庭作業(yè)是官方的不人道和非常規(guī)的懲罰措施。

　　(于是老師頗感鴨梨……)

　　最有愛(ài)的理由

　　My mother took it to have it framed.

　　我媽媽把作業(yè)裝裱了~

　　(總不能棒打母愛(ài)吧~)

　　最經(jīng)典的理由

　　I ran out of toilet paper and had to improvise.

　　廁所沒(méi)紙了，只能拿作業(yè)紙湊合著用了。

　　(親，這個(gè)有點(diǎn)過(guò)時(shí)了……)

　　最無(wú)厘頭的理由

　　The nice man with the sign says the end is HERE. No one does homework on the eve of theapocalypse.

　　我看到一個(gè)非常和善的先生拿著一個(gè)牌子寫著：今天大家都完蛋。沒(méi)人在世界末日前還做家庭作業(yè)。

　　最殘忍的理由

　　My father had a nervous breakdown and cut it up to make paper dolls.

　　我老爸有點(diǎn)神經(jīng)失常，把作業(yè)剪裁開來(lái)折紙玩偶了。

　　(老爸悲催了)

　　最高境界的理由

　　I was too worried about XXXXX in obscure African nations to focus on homework.

　　我十分擔(dān)心暗藏殺機(jī)的非洲國(guó)家將面臨種族滅絕大屠殺，實(shí)在無(wú)法集中注意力做作業(yè)了。

　　(家事國(guó)事天下事，事事關(guān)心，無(wú)可厚非嘛~)

　　最惡心的理由

　　My dog ate it. Seriously, look I brought a stool sample.

　　作業(yè)被狗給吃了。真的，你看，我?guī)?lái)了糞便樣本。

　　(人類已經(jīng)無(wú)法阻止狗狗吃作業(yè)了)

　　最得瑟的理由

　　Aliens took it as a sample of human handwriting.

　　作業(yè)被外星人拿去當(dāng)人類字跡樣本了。

　　(茫茫作業(yè)中，選中的就素你的，額~)

　　最直接的理由

　　What homework?

　　什么作業(yè)?

　　(裝傻時(shí)請(qǐng)自覺(jué)配合表情~)

　　經(jīng)典簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話一分鐘

　　先把車窗搖上去

　　A woman got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.

　　The repairman decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her all she had to do was to take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.

　　After 15 minutes of this, a lady-one of the woman's friends came over and asked what she was doing.

　　"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."

　　"Duh you have to roll up the windows first!"

　　一位女士把車撞了一個(gè)坑,于是就去修車。

　　修理工決定幽她一默。他告訴她,她只需把車開回家,然后從排氣管里往車?yán)锎禋?直到凹陷處自己鼓起來(lái)。

　　這位女士如法操作了15分鐘。這時(shí),她的一位女性朋友來(lái)拜訪她,并問(wèn)她在做什么。

　　“我正在試著讓那個(gè)坑鼓起來(lái),但這個(gè)辦法似乎并不管用。”

　　“嗯……你必須先把車窗搖上去!”

　　關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話一分鐘

　　吝嗇鬼請(qǐng)客

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。