2016經典英語幽默笑話

2016經典英語幽默笑話

　　從結構上看 ,一則話語只要具有能產生幽默效果的關鍵語句即成笑話。下面是學習啦小編帶來的2016經典英語幽默笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　2016經典英語幽默笑話大全

　　(一)

　　我想我是一只雞

　　Psychiatrist: What's your problem?Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has thisbeen going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg

　　精神病醫師：你哪里不舒服?病人：我認為我是一只雞。精神病醫師：這種情況從什么時候開始的?病人：從我還是一只蛋的時候開始。

　　(二)

　　欺騙的代價 The Revenge

　　Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice hesaid to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."Wife: "No, I can't marryanyone after you."Johnson: "But I want you to."Wife: "But why?"Johnson: "Jones once cheatedme in a horse deal!"

　　老農約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在床邊。他聲音低沉地對妻子說：“我死后，我想你嫁給農夫瓊斯。”妻子說：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁給任何人。”約翰遜：“但我希望你這么做。”妻子：“為什么?”約翰遜：“因為瓊斯曾在一筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我。”

　　2016經典英語幽默笑話欣賞

　　(一)

　　最后的坦誠 Dying Man

　　As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you thetruth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I wasworking late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept withdozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you thepoison?"

　　一個男人在臨死之前向他的妻子傾訴說：“我死之前必須告訴你一些事情的真相。在我們的整個婚姻中，我一直都在欺騙你。在那些我告訴你我會工作到很晚的夜里，我是和其他女人在一起。而且還不止一個女人。我曾經和很多女人睡過覺。他的妻子平靜地看著他，說道：“你為什么沒有想到是我給你下的毒藥呢?”

　　(二)

　　傳教士買鸚鵡 Buy a Parrot

　　A preacher is buying a parrot."Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked thepreacher."Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him."Do you seethose strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and whenyou pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.""Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but whathappens if you pull both strings?""I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

　　一個傳教士在買鸚鵡。“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。“哦，絕對不會。它是一只虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。“你看見它腿上的這些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右面的這根，它會背誦天主經，當你拉動左面的那根，它會背誦贊美詩”“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩條繩子，會發生什么呢?”“我會從樹干上掉下去的，你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。

　　經典的2016英語幽默笑話

　　(一)

　　職場笑話大家都認為我是頭

　　Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.

　　皮特告訴他的朋友他剛剛丟掉了工作。

　　"Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.

　　“為什么領班會開除你?”朋友詫異地問。

　　"Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in theirpockets watching everybody else work."

　　“哦，”皮特說，“你知道領班是什么樣的人。他們總是把手插在口袋了，站在旁邊看其他人工作。”

　　"We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"

　　“我們知道是這樣。”朋友回答說。“但是為什么他會讓你走?”

　　"Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."

　　“嫉妒。”皮特回答。“其他所有的工人都認為我是領班。”

　　(二)

　　時間就是金錢Time-Money

　　As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that'Time is money'?"

　　當出租車在遇到紅燈急剎車時，我問司機：“你同意‘時間就是金錢’這種說法嗎?”

　　"Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.

　　“哦，這是一個普遍說法。在這個問題上，誰會在意那么多呢?”司機回答說。

　　"Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at themeter.

　　“看，在車已經停止的情況下，里程表上的數字還在跑。”我指著里程表說。

　　"Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.

　　“哦，是的。你說的挺有道理的。在這種情況下，時間對我們倆來說都是金錢。”司機補充說。