經(jīng)典爆笑英文小笑話大全
經(jīng)典爆笑英文小笑話大全
互聯(lián)網(wǎng)不僅是我們生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我們工作學(xué)習(xí)之余緩解壓力、舒緩情緒的重要渠道。正是由于我們有這樣的需要，網(wǎng)絡(luò)笑話得以繁榮興盛。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了經(jīng)典爆笑英文小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
經(jīng)典爆笑英文小笑話：I'm a chicken 我是一只雞
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫(yī)師：你哪里不舒服?
病人：我認(rèn)為我是一只雞。
精神病醫(yī)師：這種情況從什么時(shí)候開(kāi)始的?
病人：從我還是一只蛋的時(shí)候開(kāi)始。
經(jīng)典爆笑英文小笑話：Monkey and Policeman 猴子與警察
A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, "What kind of monkey business are you getting up to?" He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not following any of the rules. I'm turning him in". The boss said, "Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo!" So the policeman took the monkey out.
Three or four days later, he was seen again, holding the monkey's hand. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door,put it in, and was about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out, and asked, "Oh, my God! How come the monkey is still here? I told you to take it to the zoo". The policeman replied, "Yes, sir. I've already taken him to the zoo. Today, I'm taking him to see a movie".
有一位警察大哥帶了只猴子給他上司看，他上司就說(shuō)他：“你搞什么猴子把戲?”警察大哥說(shuō)：“這猴子在大街上到處亂跑，什么法律都不懂，我把它捉了回來(lái)，治它的罪。”上司說(shuō)：“天啊天，你怎么那么笨?捉到猴子就把它帶到動(dòng)物園去嘛，帶給我干嘛?帶它到動(dòng)物園去。”后來(lái)那警察大哥就帶了猴子出去了。
三、四天后還看見(jiàn)他跟猴子手拉手打開(kāi)警車門(mén)讓猴子坐進(jìn)去，正準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)車，他上司跑了出來(lái)說(shuō)他：“天啊，為什么到現(xiàn)在還把猴子留在這兒，我不是叫你把它帶到動(dòng)物園去的嗎?為什么還在這兒?”警察大哥：“我有呀!我已經(jīng)帶它去了動(dòng)物園，今天帶它去看電影!”
經(jīng)典爆笑英文小笑話：Tie and water
A man was crawling across the desert dying of thirst, when a camel raced up and stopped. An Arab jumped down, opened a suitcase and said, "Would you like to buy a tie?" "No,"said the man, 'I need water, do you have water?' 'No,' said the Arab,' but I do have a wonderful selection of ties.' He rode off, and the unfortunate man continued crawling across the hot sand until he came to a beautiful Hotel. He crawled up the step, crying: 'Water! Water!' The manager approached him and said, 'I'm sorry Sir, you can't come in here without a Tie!'
經(jīng)典爆笑英文小笑話：Logic 哪一門(mén)邏輯
Two people were going fishing. They went a long way to buy the equipment, bait and a video camera. Then they drove to the seaside. The roads were bad, and their car was badly damaged, with dents here and there. Most of their equipment was damaged, too.
After they reached the seaside, they caught only one fish. One of them said, "Business was really bad today. Do you know how much we spent on this one fish alone?"
The other answered, "Of course, I do. We spent two thousand dollars on just this one. It is a little too much!"
The first person then said, "Good thing we didn't catch more, or the costs would have been even higher. Two thousand dollars for one fish!"
有兩個(gè)人去捕魚(yú)，他們走了很長(zhǎng)的路，買了很多工具、 食物和錄影器材等，然后開(kāi)車去海邊。由于路不好走， 因此車子撞得亂七八糟，破這邊、破那邊，工具也損壞很多。
到海邊后，他們只捕到一條魚(yú)，其中一個(gè)人講：“今天虧本了，你知道我們花了多少錢(qián)才捕到這條魚(yú)嗎?”
另一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“當(dāng)然知道，我們花了兩千塊美金才捕到， 太過(guò)分了一點(diǎn)!”
第一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“還好沒(méi)有捕更多，不然就更虧本了，每一條魚(yú)要兩千塊美金啊!”
經(jīng)典爆笑英文小笑話：A piece of yellow paper
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled(迷惑) me because the only true colors are cyan(藍(lán)綠色), magenta(洋紅), and yellow.
I had the customer change ink cartridges, delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas.
After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
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