關于簡短的初中英語笑話

時間：2016-11-18 18:51:48 韋彥867由分享

　　笑話不僅能夠折射出社會生活中的方方面面,而且,笑話可以在說笑中蘊含著人們對于美好生活的期盼和訴求。本文是關于簡短的初中英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關于簡短的初中英語笑話：Matador Special

　　A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called "The Matador".

　　As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer.

　　The dish is spaghetti with these two huge meat balls. When the waiter comes to his table, he inquires. "That is the

　　Matador Special" replies the waiter. "Spaghetti and Bull testicles. We get them after the bull fight. It is exquisite!"

　　"That's what I'll have!", says the businessman.

　　"I'm very sorry senor, but that dish is only available once per day".

　　Disappointed, the man orders another dish and plans to try again the next day.

　　So again, the next day he goes to the bull fights, and afterwards stops into the dive. Just as the waiter is coming to his table, he sees another waiter bringing the "Matador Special" to another customer who was there before him.

　　"Damn!" he says to himself. "And tomorrow's my last day here."

　　So the next day, he skips the bull fight, and stands in line at the cafe. He is the first one seated, and proudly

　　proclaims, "I'll have the Matador Special!"

　　"Very well, senor!" responds the waiter. Soon afterwards, the waiter brings out his dish, but the meat balls are disappointingly small. Very small, as a matter of fact.

　　"What's with this!" the now angry man shouts.

　　"I'm very sorry, senor" said the waiter, "but the bull does not always lose!"

　　關于簡短的初中英語笑話：Jesus and the Robber

　　One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"while he rumagged through the desk.

　　He replied, "Who said that?!"

　　Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"

　　The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its namewas. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."

　　The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"

　　The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"

　　關于簡短的初中英語笑話：How'd you want them

　　A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes.

　　In grief, the second monkey passed away two days later. Not knowing what to do with them, she finally decided to take them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed.

　　After telling the owner of her wishes, he asked her, "Do you want them mounted?"

　　Blushing, she said, "No. holding hands will be fine."

　　關于簡短的初中英語笑話：Cock A Doodly Doo!

　　This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.

　　The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've this great rooster, named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."

　　Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Randy and takes the rooster home.

　　He then sets him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job.

　　"So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer ended with a chuckle.

　　Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Randy took off like a shot.

　　WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the hen house three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.

　　After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Randy is in there.

　　Later, the farmer sees Randy after the flock of geese down by the lake. Once again, WHAM! He gets all the geese.

　　By sunset he sees Randy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught -- worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours.

　　Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob -- stone cold in the middle of the yard and buzzards are circling overhead.

　　The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

　　Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "SHHHH, they're getting closer..."

　　
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