幽默笑話大全爆笑2017
笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創造性的語言形式,其主要功能是調侃、娛樂或諷刺。它是人們生活中不可或缺的組成部分,與社會密切相關。下面是學習啦小編精心收集的爆笑2017幽默笑話，希望大家喜歡!
爆笑2017幽默笑話篇一
There once was a flood and everyone had reached safety except for one man. He climbed to the top of his house with the water lapping at his feet.
一次洪水泛濫，每個人都被送到了安全的避難所。只有一個男人除外。他爬上了自己家的屋頂，而洪水已經漲到了他的腳下。
A helicopter flew over his head and hung down a rope for him to climb, but the man was deeply religious and said, "It's all right! The Lord will save me!” So the helicopter flew away.
一架直升飛機飛到了他的頭頂，垂下來繩索讓他爬上來，但是這個男子十分虔誠地說:“我很好，上帝會來救我的!”于是，直升飛機調頭飛走了。
The water continued to rise and a boat came to him, but once again, the man shouted，"No! Go AWAY! The Lord will come and save me!” and once again, the boat sped off.
洪水繼續蔓延著，有一條船劃向他，可男子又一次地叫著:“不，走開!上帝一定會來救我的!”于是這條船也調頭走了。
The water was getting dangerously deep by now so the helicopter came back and, on cue, the man repeated，"I don't need saving! My Lord will come.” Reluctantly, the helicopter left.
這時，洪水變得越來越深了，直升飛機又飛了回來暗示他可以被得救，而這個男子再一次地說著:“我不需要你們來救我!我的主馬_L就會來的!”無奈之下，直升飛機飛走了。
The rain continued to pour, the water continued to rise and the man drowned.
雨還是肆無忌憚地下著，洪水不斷的上漲，那個男子被淹死了。
At the gates of heaven, the man met St. Peter. Confused, he asked, "Peter, I have lived the life of a faithful man一why did my Lord not rescue me?"
在天堂的門口，這個男子遇見了圣徒彼特。他疑惑的問到:“彼特，我是一個多么虔誠的人呀，為什么上帝不來挽救我呢?”
St. Peter replied, "For pity sake! He sent you two helicopters and a bo."
彼特回答他:“上天有好生之德，他已經給你派去了兩架直升飛機和一條船了。”
爆笑2017幽默笑話篇二
William may well be called the champion optimist. He was sitting on the roof of his house during a flood, watching the water flow fast，when the neighbor who owned a boat rowed across to him.
威廉姆可以稱得上是最樂觀的人了。在洪水泛濫的時候他坐在自家的房頂上，看著湍急的洪水不斷泛濫。他的鄰居坐在船上劃向他。
"Hi，William!"said the man.
“晦，威廉姆!”劃船的男人招呼他。
"Hi, Jack!" replied William, brightly.
“晦，杰克!”威廉姆愉快地回應他。
"All your fowls washed away this morning?"
“你家里的家畜今天早上都被洪水沖走了嗎?”
"Yes，but it doesn't matter, you know the ducks can swim.”
“是的，不過這不要緊的，你知道，鴨子是會游泳的!”
"Orange trees gone, too?"
“橘子樹也被沖走了嗎?”
"Yes，but everybody said the crop would be failure anyhow.”
“是的，但是大家都說莊稼總有不行的那一天。”
"I see the river's reached above your windows, William.”
“威廉姆，我看見洪水都淹沒你的窗戶了。”
"That' s all right，Jack，"was the reply. "The windows needed washing.”
“那太好了，杰克。”威廉姆答道，“窗子正需要清洗呢!”
爆笑2017幽默笑話篇三
Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something.
鄰家的男子每次向羅賓遜家走來的時候，羅賓遜就知道他一定是又要來借什么東西了。
"He won't get away with it this time,” muttered Robinson to his wife.
“這次他別想把這個借走。”羅賓遜朝他的妻子小聲嘟嚷到。
"Er, I wonder if you’d be using your power一saw this morning,“the neighbor began.
“嗯，我不知道你今天早上用不用這把電動鋸?”鄰居又開始周旋了。
"oh, I’m terribly sorry," said Robinson with a smug look，"but the fact of the matter is , I' 11 be using it all day.”
“噢，真是太抱歉了，”羅賓遜看卜去很得意地說，“事實上是我要用上一整天。”
"In that case，”said the neighbor,“you won' t be using your golf clubs，mind if I borrow them?"
“如果那樣的話，”鄰居說:“你一定不會用你的高爾夫球桿了，你不介意把它借給我吧?”
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