經典英語搞笑笑話_幽默小故事帶翻譯
學習英語，閱讀真的很重要，多閱讀一些簡單的英語笑話也是提高英語閱讀能力的一種，下面學習啦小編在這里整理了一些經典英語搞笑笑話大家，希望大家會喜歡這些英語笑話!
經典英語搞笑笑話：交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
有個人開車行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車闖紅燈從側面撞上了他的車，當時他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他從車里拉出來并喚醒他。剛一醒過來，他就拼命的掙扎著，最后不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮靜下來。過了一會兒，他平靜了，別人問他為什么要這么恐怖的掙扎，他說：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，當我醒過來，我發現我躺在了路邊，前面是一個巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍著‘殼牌’，但是有個人擋住了那個“S”。”
經典英語搞笑笑話：寫給上帝的信
A little boy needed very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the . When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept in taxes.
有個小男孩非常需要50美元，他為此禱告了數周但是什么也沒發生。后來，他決定寫封信向上帝索要這50美元。郵局接到這封信，想了想覺得還是應該交給總統比較好。總統被逗笑了，于是指示秘書寄給小男孩5美元，因為他覺得5美元對于一個小孩來講已經是不少了。小男孩收到了錢很高興，給上帝回了一封感謝信，信里寫道：尊敬的上帝，非常感謝你把錢寄給我。然而，我發現這些錢是通過白宮寄出的，因此，和往常一樣，那幫家伙收了我45美元的稅。
經典英語搞笑笑話：班級、情人和蠢驢
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.
湯姆教授打算第二天與他的學生見面，因此他在黑板上寫道：“湯姆教授明天將和大家見面”。一位學生看到這條通知后，覺得展示自己幽默感的機會來了，就走上前，將“class”中的“c”擦掉，教授聽到笑聲，轉過身走回來，看了看那位學生，又看看被改動過的通知，不動聲色地走上前，把“lass” 中的“l”擦掉，看了看那位目瞪口呆的學生，教授揚長而去。
經典英語搞笑笑話：there's only ONE policeman
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?”“唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀!”
經典英語搞笑笑話："孩子"的復數形式
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
老師：湯姆，‘男人’這個詞的復數形式是什么?
湯姆：男人們。
老師：答得好。那‘孩子’的復數形式呢?
湯姆：雙胞胎。
經典英語搞笑笑話：除了音樂
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多了解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”
“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說，“除了音樂其它都很好。”
經典英語搞笑笑話：我妹妹的手指頭
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
老師：凱溫，這次你怎么又遲到了?
凱溫：對不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個手指頭。
老師：怎么沒有扎繃帶呀?
凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。