15則英語經典幽默笑話

15則英語經典幽默笑話

　　下面是學習啦小編整理的15則英語經典幽默笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　英語經典幽默笑話1.

　　The new isn’t good when a guy visits the doctor for his annual check up. “ You’ve got to do something to improve your health, “ the doctor said.

　　“ What?” the patient asked.

　　“ I recommend walking and jogging.”

　　“ But, doctor,” said the worried guy, “ I already jog a few miles every morning.”

　　“ In that case, “ replied the doctor, “ you’d better give it up.”

　　英語經典幽默笑話2.

　　A man walked into a crowded restaurant and caught the eye of a harried waiter. “ You know,” he said, “ it’s been ten years since I came in here.”

　　“ Don’t blame me.” The waiter snapped, “ I’m working as fast as I can.”

　　英語經典幽默笑話3.

　　Driving down a winding country road, a man came upon a youth running hard, three huge dogs snarling at his heels. The man screeched his car to a halt and threw open the door. “ get in, get in!” he shouted.

　　“Thanks,” gasped the youth. “ You’re terrific. Most people won’t offer a ride when they see I have three dogs!”

　　英語經典幽默笑話4.

　　A: Oh, dear, what’s wrong with your fingers?

　　B: I want to count how many teeth the dog has, so I put my hand into the mouth of the dog.

　　A: The dog has bitten you, hasn’t it?

　　B: Yes. Maybe the dog wants to count how many fingers I have, and I have no choice.

　　英語經典幽默笑話5.

　　F: Do you know why I punish you, Peter?

　　S: I don’t know, Dad, But why?

　　F: Because you’ve hit a boy younger than you.

　　S: But I'm younger than you, Dad. Why do you hit me?

　　英語經典幽默笑話6.

　　A: Do you know what’s the difference between electricity and lightning? Asked the teacher.

　　B: Lightning is free of charge.

　　英語經典幽默笑話7.

　　A: You have been to London, haven’t you?

　　B: Yes. It’s very interesting.

　　A: What do you think is the most interesting thing?

　　B: The children in London are very clever. They can speak English at 2 or 3.

　　英語經典幽默笑話8.

　　A: What are the strongest day of the week?

　　B: Saturday and Sunday. Because all the others are weak (week) days.

　　英語經典幽默笑話9.

　　A: Why do people call their own language their mother tongue?

　　B: Because their fathers seldom get a chance to use it.

　　英語經典幽默笑話10.

　　One day, a famous French writer went to a restaurant for dinner. But he was very dissatisfied with the food.

　　“Bring the manager,” he said to the waiter after paying the bill.

　　Soon the manager came. The writer told him, “ Please give me a big hug.”

　　“ What?”

　　“ Please embrace me!”

　　“ What’s the matter with you, Sir?

　　“ This is the last time we’ll ever meet.”

　　英語經典幽默笑話11.

　　A man went to a movie theatre and was surprised to find a woman with a big dog sitting in front of him. Even more astonishing was the fact that the dog always laughed in the right places throughout the comedy.

　　“ Excuse me, “ the man asked the woman, “ but I think it is fantastic that your dog enjoys the film so much.”

　　“ I’m surprised myself, “ she replied. “ He hated the book.”

　　英語經典幽默笑話12.

　　A man in a train could not find his silk handkerchief and he accused a woman beside him of stealing it. But just before he was going to get off, he found it under his seat. He said to the woman, “ Well, Madam. Don’t take my little mistake to heart.”

　　“ I took you for a gentleman, and you regarded me as a thief. We were both mistaken, “ said the woman calmly.

　　英語經典幽默笑話13.

　　Over the doctor’s telephone came a call from a man who said that his small son had swallowed his fountain pen. The doctor said: “ I’ll come at once. What are you doing in the meantime?”

　　“ I’m using my pencil,” the man answered.”

　　英語經典幽默笑話14.

　　“Mother,” asked John after his birthday party, “ May I have a piece of cake, only a small piece, please?”

　　“ No,” replied his mother, “ You’ve had quite enough.”

　　“ Well, may I sleep with a bit under my pillow? “ asked the boy.

　　“ Very well, here you are, and remember to keep it under your pillow. Now run along to bed.”

　　When she came t John’s room some time later, she saw John sleeping peacefully with the pillow over his stomach.

　　英語經典幽默笑話15.

　　Mrs. Smith was preparing dinner when little Brad came into the kitchen. “ What has mama’s darling been doing all day?”

　　“ I’ve been playing mailman, “ replied Brad.

　　“Mailman?” asked the mother. “How could you do that when you had no letters?”

　　“ I had a whole bunch of letters, “ said Brad. “ I found them in that old trunk up in the attic, all tied up with ribbon. I put one in every mailbox on the street.”