面具讓我窒息

　　A Mask was Stifling Me');

　　面具讓我窒息

　　I believe that everyone wants to love and be loved and that happiness stems from a facing and acceptance of self that allows you to give and receive love.

　　Some think of love as a passionate, hungry, dramatic feeling, all consuming in intensity and desire. As I see it, this is, rather, immature love: it is a demand on others, not a giving of oneself. Mature love, the love that brings happiness, flows out of an inner fullness, and accepts, understands and is tender toward the other person. It does not ask to be served but only where it may serve.

　　我相信，愛與被愛是每個人的渴望。一個人是否幸福，關鍵在于他是否擁有愛并能夠接受愛。

　　在有些人看來，愛就是一種充滿活力、渴望且極富戲劇性的情感，是占有一切的激情與欲望。而我認為，這種愛是極不成熟的愛：它是向他人的索求，而不是奉獻。只有成熟的愛才能帶來幸福，它是內心真摯情感的流露，能夠接受并理解他人，給予對方溫柔與體貼。它不索求服務，而是處處提供服務。

　　Six years ago I could hardly breathe because of acute sinus. My stomach was always upset and full of queasiness and I had trouble sleeping, even though I felt exhausted all the time. In desperation, after doctors who treated the physical symptoms failed to ease the pain, I tried psychoanalysis. I was lucky to find a wise, compassionate man who showed me what it meant to be able to trust myself and others.

　　The physical ills are gone, but more than that, I have at long last started to acquire a philosophy of living. I had never possessed one. I had lived on dogma and dicta which I had accepted unquestioningly through the years, even though I believed little of it, because I feared to question. But by being unable to live naturally and at peace with myself I was flying in the face of nature. She was punishing me with illness and, at the same time, informing me all was not well just in case I wanted to do something about it.

　　6年前，由于身患急性鼻竇炎，我幾乎難以呼吸。胃部也常感不適，易惡心嘔吐。失眠問題也一直困擾著我，即使我感到疲憊不堪卻依然輾轉難眠。可是，醫生對我的病癥所做的治療卻毫不奏效，我的痛苦絲毫未減。絕望中，我嘗試了心理療法。很幸運的是，我找到了一位博學、熱情的醫生，他讓我懂得了，能夠相信自己與他人的意義所在。

　　我身體的疾病得以治愈，而更多的是我最終開始學會一門生活的哲學。我一直是一個循規蹈矩的人，雖然我并不相信那些教條與格言，但多年來，由于不敢質疑，我一直不假思索地將其視為生活的準則。然而我卻難以正常而平靜地生活，總是坐立不安。最終，我受到了懲罰，病魔纏身，同時也得到了啟示：必須對現狀做出改變，否則將萬事不順。