輕松一刻幽默故事三則
輕松一刻幽默故事三則
在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)磔p松一刻幽默故事三則，希望大家喜歡!
輕松一刻幽默故事：逮捕罪犯
The Los Angeles Police Department,the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
洛杉磯警察局、聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局和中央情報(bào)局，都想要證明他們最會(huì)逮捕罪犯。
The President decides to give them a test.
于是總統(tǒng)決定要考考他們。
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
他把一只兔子放進(jìn)森林，而他們每一個(gè)人都必須去抓它。
The CIA goes in.
中央情報(bào)局的人進(jìn)去了。
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
他們?cè)谡麄€(gè)森林里放置了動(dòng)物通報(bào)器。
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
他們質(zhì)問所有的 植物和礦物證人。
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
就在三個(gè)月的密集調(diào)查之后，他們得到的結(jié)論就是兔子不存在。
The FBI goes in.After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest ,
聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局韻人進(jìn)去了。就在兩個(gè)星期都沒有線索之后，
killing everything in it,including the rabbit,and they make no apologies.
他們放火把森林燒了，殺光了里面的一切，包括這只，兔子在內(nèi) ，而且他們并沒有表現(xiàn)出歉意。
The LAPD goes in.They come out two hours later with a baddly beaten bear.
洛杉礬警察局的人進(jìn)去了。兩個(gè)小時(shí)之后，他們帶著一只慘遭嚴(yán)重毆打的熊出來。
The bear is yelling;"Ok!I am a rabbit!I'm a rabbit!"
這只熊大聲地喊著說：“好啦!好啦!我是兔子啦!我是兔子啦!”
輕松一刻幽默故事：牛肉三明治
A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.
有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的柜臺(tái)旁選了一個(gè)位置。
"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.
他點(diǎn)餐時(shí)說：“給我來個(gè)腌牛肉三明治。”
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it ,like our midnight Special."
"菜單上沒有腌牛肉三 明治，但是我可以給你一個(gè)里面有腌牛肉的三明治，像是我們的午夜特餐。”
"What's a Midnight Special?"
“午夜特餐是什么?”
"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle and mayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."
“有三層，里面是腌牛肉、牛舌、熏香腸、蕃茄、萵苣、 洋蔥、腌泡菜，還有美乃滋的三層烤葡萄干面包。…
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"
"你可不可以在兩片白面包中間只放一片腌牛肉，裝在一個(gè)盤子上端給我吃?”
"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,
“哦，當(dāng)然可以。啦!”接著他就轉(zhuǎn)向制作三明治的人，
he sang out:"One Midnighet Special.Make it one deck,hold the tongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisin bread white,untoasted!"
大聲喊出：“一個(gè)午夜特餐。把它做一層就好，里面不要加牛著、熏香腸、蕃茄、萵苣、洋蔥、腌泡菜和美乃滋，把葡萄干面包做成白面包，不要烤!”
輕松一刻幽默故事：律師的忠告
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to hanle his ulcer.
有一位醫(yī)生和一位律師出席一場(chǎng)雞尾酒會(huì)，當(dāng)時(shí)有一名男子走近這位醫(yī)生詢問有關(guān)如何處理他的潰瘍的忠告。
The doctor mumbled some medical advice,then turned to the lawyer and asked,
這位醫(yī)生就咕嚕咕嚕說了一些醫(yī)療上的忠告，然后轉(zhuǎn)向這位律師。
"How do you handled the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
并問他：“當(dāng)你在社交宴會(huì)場(chǎng)合中被人詢間忠告的時(shí)候，你都怎么處理這個(gè)情形呢?”
"Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer.
這位律師回答說： “就寄出一張聽取忠告的賬單呀”。
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issues the ulcer-stricken man a account.
下一天早上，這位醫(yī)生來到他的診療窒;開出一張五十元賬單給這名罹患潰瘍的男子。
That afternoon he received a 0 account from the lawyer.
而在那天下午他竟然就收到一張從律師那里寄來的一百元賬單