經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話大全
經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話大全
笑話作為一種城市化的民間口頭創(chuàng)作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。在社會文化中,笑話一直都具有無法替代的特殊意義。小編精心收集了經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!
經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話：Devil In The Church
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years
經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話：Faith Lesson
While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family's faith to class. At the appropriate time she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students.The first child said, "I am Muslim and this is my prayer rug."The second child said, "I am Jewish and this is my Star of David."The third child said, "I am Catholic and this is my rosary."The final child said, "I am Southern Baptist and this is my casserole dish."
經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話：The Biggest Lie
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing.One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today."Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh. "All right," he said, "give him the dog."
經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話：Screening Process
A young man dies and goes to Heaven, where he finds he is third in line at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is taking a much-needed break, so an angel is admitting the newly arrived to
Heaven.
The angel tells the three new arrivals that because so many drug dealers and other criminals have managed to sneak into Heaven that St. Peter must now be a little stricter with the
screening process.
Each person is required to state his former occupation and tell his or her yearly salary.
The first man in line says, "I was an actor, and I earned class="main">
經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話大全
The angel says, "Okay, you may enter." He turns to the woman in line and asks her about her life.
She states, "I earned 0,000 as an attorney." The angel thinks for a moment and then lets her in, too.
He turns to the third one in line and asks, "What have you done with your life?"
The man replies, "I earned ,000 last year . . ."
"Oh," the angel interrupts. "What did you teach?"
經(jīng)典的幽默英語笑話：Espiscopalian
Three men of the cloth, a Catholic, a Jew and an Episcopalian were on an airplane trip together. They ran into the worst turbulence in the history of aviation on the whole flight.
When the plane finally landed, a reporter is there and starts interviewing people. The first one is the Catholic and when asked was he afraid, he answered, "I am Catholic my son and
yes, I was afraid but I prayed to my God and I knew he would see me through it."
The reporter said thank you and went up to the next man of the cloth and asked was he afraid, he answered, "I am Jewish my son and yes, I was afraid but I prayed to my God and I knew he would see me through it."
The reporter said thank you and went up to the third man of the cloth whose clothes were all messed up, wet streaks down his pants and chunks on his chest. He was asked the same questions and replied, "I'm an Ecopalian".
The reporter says, "Ecopalian, what is an Ecopalian?"
And the man of the cloth said, "That's an Episcopalian with the piss scared out of him!"
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