英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短笑話大全爆笑
笑話是以笑為顯著特征的文學(xué)體裁,相伴中國(guó)的正統(tǒng)文學(xué)發(fā)展至今,具有深刻的審美意義。笑話偶爾也給人以啟示,并上升到哲理層面,引發(fā)人們深層次的思考。小編精心收集了爆笑英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
爆笑英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短笑話篇1
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(閣樓) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(鐘樓) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized(洗禮) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!
三個(gè)南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個(gè)說(shuō)道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來(lái)臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走。”
另外一位說(shuō)：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經(jīng)請(qǐng)人把整個(gè)地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”
第三個(gè)牧師說(shuō)：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會(huì)的一員......從此一只也沒(méi)有再回來(lái)過(guò)。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短笑話篇2
The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集會(huì)，圣會(huì)) always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start(嚇一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋€(gè)人在他說(shuō)教時(shí)打瞌睡。
一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺(jué)。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說(shuō)：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來(lái)吧。”所有的人都站了起來(lái)——當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說(shuō)過(guò)請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來(lái)!”
打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來(lái)。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說(shuō)道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短笑話篇3
One day, the teacher inquired of Peter: "How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tied.
The teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?"
"The hole," replied Peter。
一天，老師問(wèn)彼得：“4減4等于幾?”彼得張口結(jié)舌答不上來(lái)。
老師生氣地說(shuō)：“真笨!你想，我要是往你口袋里放四個(gè)硬幣，而你的口袋上有個(gè)窟窿，硬幣全漏掉了，那么，你衣袋里還剩下什么?”
“窟窿，”彼得答道。
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