英語小笑話
笑話能反映出一個民族的價值系統及其對周圍世界肯定和否定的態度。下面是學習啦小編帶來的英語小笑話，歡迎欣賞!
英語小笑話篇1
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner.
Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerbywho'd seen everything remarked："That's extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did."
"Not really," came the reply. "I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts."
一個盲人領著一只導盲犬站在十字路口處等著過馬路。就在這個時候，導盲犬把腿一抬，開始往主人身上撒尿。
這個盲人十分平靜地從口袋里拿出了一塊餅干給狗吃。一個過路人剛好看到了這一切，很不解地說：“你的脾氣真好，尤其是那只狗都做了這樣的事情，你還給它餅干吃。”
“事實并非如此。”盲人回答說，“我只是想弄清楚它的嘴在哪里，這樣一來，我就可以踢它的屁股了。”
英語小笑話篇2
Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something.
"He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife.
"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I’ll be using it all day."
"In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?"
每當鄰居家的男子向羅賓遜家走來的時候，羅賓遜就知道他一定又是來借東西的。
“這次他什么也別想借走。”羅賓遜朝他的妻子小聲嘀咕道。
“嗯，我想知道你今天早上是否用這把電動鋸?”鄰居又開始借東西了。
“噢，真是太不好意思了，”羅賓遜一幅自鳴得意的表情，“其實，我要用一整天。”
“假如是那樣的話，”鄰居說，“你肯定不會用高爾夫球桿了，你不介意把它借給我吧?”
英語小笑話篇3
I lived in DC when I was young, and dad used to take us on weekend trips south into the Carolina, so that we could see what "real life" was like. He’d just drive along the road for a while, and then pull over at some farm and start talking to the people there.
Dad was chatting up a farmer’s wife once，when I discovered this pig...
It was a nice pig. But it only had three legs. The right back leg was wooden! Well, I was ascurious as could be, so I asked the farmer:"Excuse me, sir. Why does your pig have a wooden leg?"
"Well, boy. That is a courageous pig. The wife and me were asleep in the house one night, when that pig came running in and woke us up. The whole place was ablaze. We just got out alive."
"And the pig got its leg burned up in the fire?"
"Nope. Pig got out just fine. Matter of fact, he even went back in and saved the kids."
"Then why does the pig have a wooden leg?"
"I told you, boy. That is a BRAVE pig! A heroic pig! That pig saved our lives!"
"Yes, sir. But why does he have a wooden leg!"
"Boy, a pig like that, you don’t eat all in one sitting!"
我小的時候生活在華盛頓。到了周末，爸爸常常帶我們到南部的卡羅萊納州去玩。正是在那里我們看到了什么是“真正的生活”。爸爸會沿路開一會兒車，然后把車停在路邊，找農場里的人聊聊天。
正當爸爸和一個農婦聊天時，我發現了這只豬……
那只豬很漂亮，可只有三條腿，右后腿還是用木頭做的!我對這點很好奇。于是就問那個農民：“先生，為什么你的豬有一只木頭腿啊?”
“是這樣的，孩子。這是一只勇敢的豬。有天晚上，我和妻子正在房里睡覺時，這只豬跑進來叫醒了我們，我們才知道房子著火了。我們立刻跑了出去，才保住了性命。”
“這只豬的腿是在那場火災中燒壞的嗎?”
“不是的，它完好無損地跑了出去。實際上，它甚至還跑了回去，把我們的孩子也救了出來。”
“那為何這只豬會有一只木頭腿呢?”
“我已經告訴你了，孩子。那是只勇敢的豬!一只英勇的豬!它救了我們全家人的性命!”
“是的，先生。可是為何它有只木頭腿呢?”
“孩子，像這樣的豬，我們是不舍得一次就把它吃光的!”
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