輕松幽默生活英語故事

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學習啦小編為大家帶來幽默生活英語笑話四則，希望大家喜歡!

　　幽默生活英語笑話：誰更丑

　　Abraham Lincoln's ability to laugh at himself sustained him through his many adversities. One example he often recalled was the time when an ugly man thrust a revolver in his face. Lincoln tried to remain calm, asking the man what he wanted. The man replied, holding the gun to Lincoln's head, "Some years ago I swore that if I ever came across an uglier man than myself, I'd shoot him on the spot."

　　亞伯拉罕·林肯自我解嘲的才智幫助他度過了許多災難。他經常回想起一個例子，一次一個丑陋的男子用一把左輪手槍頂在了他的臉上。林肯努力保持鎮靜，問那人想要什么。那人用槍指著他的頭，回答說:“多年前我發過誓，如果見到一個比我還丑的人，我就當場擊斃他。”

　　Relief crossed Lincoln's face and he lost all his tension and anxiety. "Shoot me," he said to the stranger, "for if I am an uglier man than you, I don't want to live."

　　一絲欣慰掠過林肯的面龐，他的緊張和焦慮一掃而光。“開槍吧，”他對那個陌生人說，“因為要是我比你還丑，我就不想活了。”

　　幽默生活英語笑話：新年決心書

　　Hoping to excite student interest in our reading center, I asked each teacher to write a New Year's resolution on a special form and send it to me. After I posted the resolutions on the bulletin board in the reading center，one young teacher stopped by，looked at them for a few minutes，and then left abruptly. Passing two teachers on their way in，she stormed，“My resolution isn’t posted-and mine was one of the first ones ins”I couldn't help but overheard,and the tone of her voice sent me flying to my desk in reach of a misplaced resolution.Looking rapidly through stacks of papers，I uncovered hers. It read，“I resolve not to let little things upset me.”

　　為了激勵同學們對我們閱覽中心的興趣，我請每位老師在一張特制的表格上寫一篇新年決心書交給我。我將決心書張貼在閱覽中心的布告牌上之后，一位年輕老師停下來看了幾分鐘，便抽身走開了。她越過兩位老師闖了進來，大發雷霆道:“我的決心書竟然沒有貼出來—而我的是第一批交上來的!”我在旁邊聽到了，看她氣勢洶洶的樣子，我嚇得趕緊跑回辦公室去找那份放錯了地方的決心書，飛快瀏覽了幾疊紙之后，我打開了她的那一份，上面寫著:“我決心不再為一些小事而煩惱。”

　　幽默生活英語笑話：鑰匙?接吻

　　A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adults who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table，he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book，the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said，"Give me the keys. "The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this，my friend thought that the student hadn’t heard him Clearly，so he repeated. "Give me the keys.”The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then，he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

　　我的一位朋友在給一個成人學生班級上英語課。他們都是新近來美國生活的。在一張桌子上擺了許多日常用品之后，他請全班同學給他挑出尺子、書本、鋼筆等。課進行得井然有序，學生們對自己所做的似乎很感興趣，也很認真。后來輪到一名來自意大利的學生，我的朋友說:“給我鑰匙。”那人看起來非常吃驚，也有點手足無措。看到這種情況，我的朋友想是他沒有聽清楚，于是又重復了一遍:“給我鑰匙。”那位意大利學生聳了聳肩。接著，他伸出胳膊摟住老師的脖子在雙頰上親了兩下。

　　幽默生活英語笑話：那是做什么用的

　　While proudly showing off his newapartment to friends，a college student led theway into the den. "What is the big brass gongand hammer ford "One of his friends asked."That is the talking clock.”the man replied.“How does it work!”

　　一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的?”他的一個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎么工作的?”

　　"Watch，”the man said and proceeded togive the gong an ear shattering pound with thehammer. Suddenly，someone screamed fromthe other side of the wall，“Knock it off，you idiots It’s two 0’clock in the morning”

　　他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”