最幽默爆笑的英文笑話大全
笑話,不同文化背景的人的反應(yīng)有時是不同的,甚至?xí)厝幌喾础＞科湓?是說話雙方?jīng)]有真正理解對方的文化。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了最幽默爆笑的英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!
最幽默爆笑的英文笑話：墓地驚魂
One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcutthrough the cemetery.
一個漆黑的夜晚，兩個小伙子參加完聚會，決定抄近路穿過一片墳地走回家。
When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving.There was this terrifying noise, "TAP-TAP-TAP" coming from the shadows.
走到墳地的中間，從陰暗處傳出來恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”聲音，嚇得他們再也走不動了。
Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at oneof the headstones.
渾身顫抖著，他們發(fā)現(xiàn)有個老人正拿著榔頭和鑿子鑿一塊墓碑。
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath.
“噢，主啊，”其中一個屏住呼吸說，
"You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing workinghere so late at night?"
“你嚇?biāo)牢覀兞耍覀冞€以為你是鬼了。這么晚了你在這干什么呢?”
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"
“這些傻瓜!”老人抱怨說，“他們拼錯了我的名字!”
最幽默爆笑的英文笑話：酒后駕車
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations.
一天深夜，一名警察去一個經(jīng)常有人鬧事的酒吧門口巡邏，為了避免有酒后駕車的情況發(fā)生。
At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
酒吧打烊了，他看見一個家伙跌跌撞撞的跑出來，一下摔在路邊，隨后又用鑰匙試著開了五輛車的門才找到他自己的車。
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
坐進(jìn)車?yán)铮脦追昼娝侄际窃诿切╄€匙。
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.
這時人們都從酒吧出來并且開車走了。最后他也發(fā)動了車子準(zhǔn)備開走，
The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.
警察已經(jīng)等這個機(jī)會很久了，他打開燈，把司機(jī)從車?yán)锢鰜恚o他宣讀了他所享有的法定權(quán)利，然后作了酒精的測試。
The test results showed a reading of 0.00.
測試的結(jié)果是零，
The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.
于是困惑的警察問他是為什么，
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"
司機(jī)說：“今晚他們派我當(dāng)誘餌。”
最幽默爆笑的英文笑話：電子郵件
A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.
有個人去牙買加度假，
His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
他的妻子正好出差，所以打算在他到之后的第二天去找他。
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.
他到了賓館，想要給妻子發(fā)封郵件，
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
但是記著郵箱的紙找不到了，于是他憑著記憶把信發(fā)到了一個郵箱。
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
很不幸，他漏掉了一個字母，因此他的信發(fā)到了一個老傳教士的妻子的郵箱里，而傳教士恰好在前一天去世了。
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
悲痛的老婦人察看郵箱，看著顯示器屏幕她尖叫一聲，隨后就倒在地上死去了。
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
聽到她的聲音，家人趕忙跑進(jìn)她的房間，只見這樣一句話顯示在屏幕上：“親愛的，快來吧。為了你明天的到來，一切都準(zhǔn)備好了。愛你的丈夫。
Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."
順便說一句，這里可真夠熱的。”
最幽默爆笑的英文笑話：離事故有多遠(yuǎn)?
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.
一位木匠正在為他目擊的一起事故作證。
The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.
法官問他當(dāng)時離事發(fā)現(xiàn)場有多遠(yuǎn)。
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
法官問：“什么?你怎么能這樣確定?”
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定會有傻瓜問我這個問題，所以我事先測量了一下。”
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